Two Shorts About Dogs:

The First: I ran into a dog the other day which I wanted to take home with me which is rather odd on account of the fact that I am not a dog person.

No: I have no idea what breed it was. But it was a puppy. And as everyone knows, puppies are cute.

When I win the lottery – not if, but when I win the lottery, I’m going to become a genetic scientist. I’ll hire an assistant, build a smart and stylish, little laboratory, and come up with a drug, an injection that I can give to puppies that will make them always remain in the pleasant state of perpetual puppieness.

I will patent this formula and, of course, make a fortune. Maybe even a Nobel Prize. For Peace, perhaps. ‘Cause quite frankly, if the World was full of puppies, we would have everlasting peace, and that would be swell.

Then I’ll move onto kittens!


The Second: I didn’t notice the dog at first which is odd on account of the fact that other than I, he was the only other thing standing at the bus stop.

Short, small, taunt and tight, he scratched himself, licked his balls, attempted to wag his tail, then looked at me directly with dark brown eyes.

At first, when he asked me if I would take him home with me, I didn’t know how to respond.

‘I have a cat,’ I finally said.

‘Nice cat?’

‘Neutered…’

I didn’t know that dogs could frown. He frowned.

‘Sad, really,’ He remarked, looking at his tail as if he had just realized that he had a tail to look at.

I added that I also had a goldfish, and I wanted to tell him about that little cactus I’ve had for-ever, but he simply turned and walked away.